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Dealing with a Vindictive Spouse – During & Post-Divorce

vindictive-spouseBy its very nature, a divorce is a difficult process and requires patience and strength from all participants so as to see through to a conclusion of a marriage. Unfortunately, most divorces showcase the worst attitudes and feelings that a person might have for their former spouse, and the inevitable fighting may lead to incredibly vindictive and malicious behavior. Dealing with a bitter ex-spouse is difficult, but getting issues resolved without coming to blows isn’t impossible.

Consider Every Action Carefully

It is natural to feel anger toward someone who was once part of a marriage, but it’s important to resist all tendencies to lash out and create an argument out of anything a person says. Combative couples will often fight with one another over inconsequential topics because of the larger issues of anger at work within a divorce, and so picking a fight becomes a rather simple act. It is also important to keep your divorce in-house and don’t allow it to turn into a Social Media Divorce. There is no reason for public displays of anger.

Pick up the Pen

The benefits of keeping communication in written form are two-fold, and anyone experiencing a divorce should consider digging out that paper and pen (or a keyboard and a printer) to communicate with their ex-spouse. Writing something down often diffuses the natural anger over a situation and allows an individual to express his or her thoughts clearly. Written communication also ensures as much information and communication as possible ends up in physical form, while also offering a much safer outlet for messages than a face-to-face conversation.

Allow Legal Representation to Take Center Stage

In cases where no amount of patience and tolerance will reduce the combativeness during a divorce, allowing all communication to pass through one’s legal representative may diffuse the anger of the proceedings. Divorcing couples will likely get much angrier when speaking with one another on topics of the most mundane variety, but a lawyer won’t be drawn into those same petty arguments.

Allowing a lawyer to act as the first line of communication also makes it easier to arrange visitation schedules for children. Such communication reduces the emotions and fighting getting in the way of hammering out a proper schedule.

Remaining Distant After Divorce

A host of issues might erupt after the finalization of the divorce, and sometimes it’s possible to douse angry those fires by restricting communication as much as possible. A divorced couple needs space from one another so as to think clearly, and this encompasses the time before, during, and after a divorce. Inevitable fights will occur at least a few times after a divorce, but the number of arguments will decrease by the simple act of distancing one’s self from a vindictive spouse.

Divorce is difficult, and there’s no reason to assume that even the most cordial of separations won’t turn into something nasty. Maintaining space and distance by allowing a lawyer to act as the main source of contact with an ex-spouse is the best way to get through a divorce with as little strife as possible.

If you are going through a divorce and would like a free case consultation, please call our offices at (602) 254-8880. You can also reach us via our secure and confidential email form.

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